CIGAR LOVERS: Don’t Let Everyday be a Blackened Friday by Tommy Zman
One week ago last Friday, I, Tommy Z did the absolute unthinkable. No, I didn’t smoke pineapple flavored White Owls with a Thunderbird 100 proof chaser… but I can honestly say that it was almost as bad. What could it be, you wonder aloud while gasping for breath as I keep you in suspenseful agony? Well I’ll tell you guys, but you’d better be sitting down because it’s not very pretty.
Here’s the low down…I was forced at wife-point to stand on line at Walmart on Thanksgiving night from 10pm until 2am to complete the world’s most horrendous Black Friday experience EVER.
Four hours… thousands of crazed shoppers… as I became one of the PEOPLE OF WALMART. If you’ve ever really imagined what hell is like, well, I can tell you, my friends… it’s not fire, brimstone, and a guy with horns and a pitchfork… oh no, it’s something much worse. It’s hour and a half long register lines filled with more nationalities than a U.N. summit, people who feel they have accomplished a feat greater than conquering Mount Everest – all by bagging that Samsung LED 46 inch TV for $200 below the regular retail price.
Now why would a cigar smoking, football watchin’ beer guzzling, ball scratching, man’s man of a man subject himself to such morbid debauchery? Because my wife said I had to. I know… pathetic. I’m still at a loss for words, myself.
If you watched the news the following day you saw that a crazed woman at a California Walmart pepper sprayed a group of shoppers that she felt were eying up the items she somehow believed were rightfully hers. And an innocent guy was shot by a group of thugs who wanted his newly acquired holiday pickens. Yes, indeed people, it certainly was a most BLACK Friday.
What the bloody hell is going on here? Well, I think the economy being in the tank has a lot to do with people’s insane behavior on the night that they consumed mass quantities of turkey and a variety of goodies I spoke of in last week’s Thanksgiving Blog. And now, to make it all a lot more horrendous, we cigar smokers are being pushed to the brink by the FDA, who seriously wants control over the cigar industry, a move that just might cause a public outcry greater than any Black Friday ransacking. This is the destruction of out personal freedoms we’re talking about here, guys, and we have to make sure that our voices are heard.
So if you didn’t yet contact your local politico representatives, DO IT NOW! I’ll even make it easy for you… click the link below that the Cigar Rights of America Group has created and within a minute you can let the stooges in jolly old D.C. know that we really don’t appreciate them trying to save us from ourselves.
> CIGAR RIGHTS of AMERICA FDA LINK
Let’ em know that they are NOT gonna take away our right to enjoy the fruits of Honduras, Nicaragua, and the Dominican Republic. Let ‘em know how much we value our RIGHT as over-taxed American citizens to smoke our H. Upmann Sun Grown, Oliva Connecticut Reserve, Rocky Patel Edge, La Aroma de Cuba Mi Amor, and Partagas Spanish Rosado. I am sick and tired of this crap and not a one of us should stand and take it any longer.
I have read that December 8th is the date the FDA has said that they will stop taking feedback from the public on this matter. That’s only a few days away, guys, and like I said, if you haven’t let these Washington wing nuts know how you REALLY feel, you still have time and NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!
While I solemnly vow before you that I will fight the politicos tooth and nail to protect the leafy passion I love and hold so dearly, I also vow to NEVER, EVER stand on a Black Friday line again, and if I do, you have permission crack a Samsung over my thickened, cigar filled, Polish dome.
That is all people… now get your holiday orders in at www.jrcigars.com RIGHT NOW! Give the fat bastid in the red suit a break and start clicking your mouse, pronto!
Til next week, my holiday lovin’ bruthas n’ sistas,
JR Cigars Blog with the Zman
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