May the Cigar Gods Smile Down Upon Us, by Tommy Zman
I am admittedly not a religious man, but definitely more of a spiritual type person. While I don’t want to get into some kind of metaphysical diatribe, I do want to acknowledge that I have been praying with great faith to the Cigar gods for their wisdom and 
guidance, with hope that… wait a minute, oh ye smoker of the most holiest of leaves… you say you are not aware of the omnipresence of the immortal Cigar Gods? Oh, my brothers and sisters, while it is not in my nature to prosthelytize, I do feel it is important for me to spread the most sacred word of the leaf.
Once the land was filled with happy cigar smoking humans like you and I, gallivanting about the earth while enjoying the fruitful blue-swirling smoke of our El Rey Del Mundos, Punch, and Partagas Black. But then a darkened evil came over the land as Loki-Non-Smoky gathered his most heinous tobacco-hating cohorts and our lives have never been the same since. You see, Loki has conspired with backstabbing nay-sayers of the politico world, inflicting new taxes and laws that threaten the very existence of the sacred stogies we 
cherish so greatly. So, I beckon to thee, my leaf-loving friends, to acknowledge the existence of the Cigar gods and know that they are here to protect us and fight the bad men who want to harm our community at large.
I first ask you to greet Tobaccus, patron saint of premium burning leaf. He is a most loving and wise being, blending and creating the pleasures we cut and light each day. Tobaccus has called upon the Cigar gods themselves, and together in unity they face Non-Smoky and the evil zealots who threaten the sticks we rely on for pleasure each day. Now, every group of immortals has a general – a warrior who wears his band proudly, and Cigartamus is the one who leads the battle cry each day. His faithful group of brave and leafy warriors include Robustus, Toronian, Figarodeous, Ligerous, Corojonian, Criollous, Churchillian who stands tall, and last but not least J•R Ultimate Prime. Together this group of selfless heroes work tirelessly to save us all from the oppressive Tobacco terrorists.
Okay, I haven’t lost my mind – I think I might just be a little jacked up for the new Avengers movie. (The nerd in me rears its wacky little head every once in a while.) And while I admit that I don’t actually pray to these mythical tobacco gods, I have to believe that the REAL heroes who are fighting the oppressors are you and I! We’re the ones who need to stand up to the bullies and fight for the freedom we rightfully deserve. And right now we can start with signing the petition drafted by Cigar Rights of America and the IPCPR that will be presented to the Obama Whitehouse Administration, asking them to tell the FDA to LEAVE THE CIGAR INDUSTRY ALONE! (CLICK HERE for Petition) These puro-patriots have gathered the mandatory 25,000 signatures needed, but I say we give the politicos a hell of a lot more than that if we can. Let’s show them that we are voters who mean business when it comes to our beloved cigars! And if you’ve already signed it, get your friends in on it, share on FaceBook and Twitter, and be one of the warriors the cigar industry needs to fight this never-ending battle of injustice! Let us BAND together to save our smokes!
Bless you all…
JR Cigars Blog with the Zman
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