Reflections On This Past Week in History
Well, Osama Bin gone for a while now and I can honestly say that I don’t miss the old bastid very much, do you? Didn’t think so. Just think about what a disgusting and horrid life the dude lived in total seclusion, inside a heavily guarded, locked-down, barren fortress, with no possible way to even stroll over to the local Dunkin Donuts for a Coolata. Seems the guy lived the ultimate secluded hermetic life, like the scummy rat that he truly was. I think it’s going to be incredibly interesting to see what our boys found in that un-manly cave, the kind of stuff that hopefully leads us to a few of the other bearded goats of terror.
Remember when our soldiers took Saddam’s palaces a few years back and found all the accoutrements of an upscale, hoity-toity lifestyle? Well, something tells me that our Navy Seals heroes didn’t find lavish humidors stocked with the finest cigars from the world over, along with a high end scotch and wine selection. Yeah, I’m doubting that Bin Dirtbag had any social graces or signs of culture whatsoever. Judging by his over sized baby diaper and that cruddy camouflage jacket. I’m pretty sure the man never washed those most important parts very often (please don’t make me have to spell this out for you). I just can’t imagine there was any direct tv to watch the ball games or televised be-headings from his local neighborhood, or a microwave to cook up his rat-meat Hot Pockets.
I think I can say with absolute certainty that the guy was uncool as they come and I’m quite sure he didn’t smoke cigars, (wow… what a low-life friggin animal.) I mean, really. Nothing defines a man more than a premium cigar hanging from his mandibles – a man who enjoys the vast and simple pleasures of life. But Bin Laden was not a cool dude at all, most likely the sandal wearing nerd who received a turban wedgie everyday in gym class. He was the scurvy little urchin picked last for any team sport and cowered in the corner while being pelted by an endless barrage of sand-filled dodgeballs. But it seems that one dodgeball too many made contact with the head of the man who was to one day become the most wanted terrorist of all time.
I know that we’re all proud of them men of Seal team 6 who heroically entered Osama’s compound and sent the beast to his fiery unresting place. For the soldiers on that mission, the acts of bravery are unparalleled and I’m sure every one of you reading this would be honored to fire up your finest aged cigars with these heroic men of valor. It’s kind of a shame that they’ll never receive the adulation from Joe Six-Pack Public American – a ticker-tape parade through Heroes Canyon in New York city - but of course we realize that anonymity is best in this situation. I’m pretty sure that those men are well aware that an entire nation, and many other nations for that matter, bow our heads and raise our glasses high for the ultimate tribute of thanks.
It certainly was an interesting past week for Americans who live in a nation that has to remain vigilant in it’s opposition to Bin Laden’s miscreant followers of hate. You know, guys, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… if every living breathing adult in this world partook in a finely aged premium cigar on a daily basis, war would be no more as an international Earth-Herf would have us all mellow and on the same page of life. Yeah, just some weird reflecting for me and I’m sure for you too.
Have a great week, just cuz I said so…
