A Weekend of Pain-Providing Jackasses



–noun: insatiable greed for riches; inordinate, miserly desire to gain and hoard wealth.

imagesdanger-thieves-jun-05-smallWell, in my humble opinion, that pretty much describes the actions of the FOX network and Cablevision. It got real ugly this weekend as FOX, who is demanding significantly more money from the cable giant, pulled FOX channel 5 and channel 9 from over three-million subscribers in the New York area. (And don’t forget Family Guy, The Simpsons, and a host of other good old fashioned Sunday night watching material!)

Q: Now the New York Yankees are in the MLB playoffs, and what are the two channels you watch the Yankees on here in the Big apple metropolitan area?

A: Gosh, that would be channels 5 & 9, wouldn’t it, Zman?

Q: And howz ‘bout the New York Football Giants game vs. the Detroit Lions on Sunday? What channel does the team in blue appear on?

A: Um, hey, that would be FOX channel 5, right, Z?

Give yourself a useless cheap stuffed primate, sucker, cuz ya got both answers correct!

6a00d8341d417153ef0120a51bef1c970c-piThe only action we got to see here in the New York area was the battle of the fat-cat billionaires, who have acted like immature a$$holes, calling each other names and pointing the blame, all in the process of screwing over the hard working stiffs who already pay outrageous fees for channels that are considered to be FREE TV. Earlier this year, ABC pulled off of Cablevision right before the Oscars and then it was the Food Network who yanked their programming. Meanwhile, each time this happens, the stooges in their ivory towers at Cablevision broadcast slick written voiceovers on the blank channels, laying 100% total blame on the other side, accusing them of greed, lying, and thievery. All I can say is, Mr. Pot meet Kettle.

And even if you live outside this area and this had no effect on you, well, you’d better start caring because you’re definitely next. Okay, the greed is one thing, we get that… but it’s not caring about your viewers and screwing us over to no end is what both of these monolithic companies should be grossly ashamed of. This kind of malicious action proves that that they truly don’t care about their customers and it’s kind of ironic that maybe – just maybe it is us who has the last laugh that comes in the form of two very simple words: Direct TV.

JackassJackass Kicks Ass!…

FOX and Cablevision execs weren’t the only flailing jackasses this weekend, as it was a record two days for Johnny Knoxville and his cast of masochistic psychos as Jackass 3D took in over 50 million dollars, setting a record for the month of October! Plain and simple, people like to watch other people do stupid shit while hurting themselves, and this film gives all of us over taxed and economically de-stimulated Americans just what we want: a sledge hammer in the gnads at somebody else’s expense.

Immature, degrading, moronic, sophomoric, juvenile, unsophisticated, raw, infantile, asinine, pointless and three levels below retarded is the style of humor delivered by these modern day Moe, Larry, and Curly’s, and I for one cannot wait to get to the theater this week to laugh til I pee my pants.

KegAs you can imagine, with no sports to watch I was brow beaten by the wife to do yard work for hours on end during a gorgeous, blue-sky, fall weekend here in north Jersey. But afterwards I treated myself to marinated, slow-grilled London broil, followed by several fine smokes and tasty libations, so all was not a total loss.

And just in case you were wondering… I thoroughly enjoyed a post dinner medium bodied > Martinez New York with a Columbian coffee, followed by a magnificent, dark & oh so full flavored > Cask Aged El Rey Del Mundo accompanied by a single malt over ice. This just goes to show that a not-so-swell day can always end on an incredibly high note if you want it to!

Until, next week, fight the good fight, my brothers of the leafiness,

Tommy Z.

JR Cigars Blog with the Zman

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