Archive for the ‘Te-Amo New York’ Category

Time Flies When You’re Smoking Cigars

Monday, August 15th, 2011

This past winter, many of us across the country endured one the most heinous stretches of miserable weather ever encountered. Rain, snow, ice, and so much awful crap was brought down upon us that I just wanted to bitch-slap Mother Nature so hard that she’d think twice before messin’ with our lives again. It was like a cruel joke, day in and day out, and worst of all, I couldn’t smoke my beloved cigars! When it’s freezing, sleeting, blizzards and what have you, a brother of the leaf just can’t enjoy his favorite cigar under those conditions, I don’t care who you are. Oh I try – set up a portable heater in the garage, bundle up in layers, and wear a good pair of gloves – but 20 minutes after lighting up, I lose feeling in some really important body parts and it’s time to head back into the warmth. And as you all know, there isn’t a worse feeling than having to ditch a half smoked, Romeo Y Julieta Real Reserva, Punch Grand Cru Number 2, or a delicious La Aurora 107. Oh the humanities, indeed.

photoYou see, the thing is, when I can’t smoke my daily cigar, time drags forever as I yearn for warm weather, green grass, and a barbecue dinner with friends and family. It’s amazing how time almost comes to a complete standstill during the winter as I am jonesing like a wacko for some premium aged, tobacco goodness. I get irritable, cranky, and act like a 4 year old who can’t play outside with his favorite toys. My wife thinks I’m an ass and my kids lock their doors and hide in their bedrooms when daddy can’t pound his plentiful puros.

So, FINALLY, the warm weather comes… first Spring, then Summer, and before you know it here we are in mid-August as time has flown by like a rocket sled that’s headed straight back to Christmas, cold weather months, and NO MORE DAILY SMOKES… AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

rosie_odonnellSo I ask you, why does time fly during cigar season… you know, the time of year you can sit outside with a cold brew, a couple of you best buddies, and enjoy a hand rolled happy stick? Why is it that the good days spent with your Honduran, Nicaraguan, and Dominican amigos blow by like a jack rabbit on Red Bull, but in the winter the days drag slower than a turtle with Rosie O’Donnell strapped to its back? (Yes, that was a most disturbing visual and I’m sure I speak for the management here at JR when I say I apologize for reaching beyond the normal boundaries, all for a cheap and distasteful laugh. But I can assure you, it won’t be the last time.)

turtle1I guess it’s just human nature that we yearn for the good times, but those good times sure do pass you by if you don’t take the time and make the effort to enjoy them. If you have kids, then you know exactly what I mean. Okay, so it’s almost the end of summer, but that doesn’t mean you’ve gotta think about the future and what is going to come. I say, spend the rest of these nice weather days enjoying the hell out of life, savor that premium cigar, sip that glass of scotch, relish your family and friends, and live in the now, because the truth is, right now is all you’ve really got.

Now does that mean I’ll stop being a moron in the winter, alienate my loved ones, and brood like bratty little school-girl? No, probably not, but I definitely will make an attempt to relax and enjoy what I have in the present… and an imported, premium, hand rolled cigar is the best present a guy could ever give himself.

Until next week my Brothers in Leafdom,

TZ.Sig.2

Tommy Z . JR Cigars Blog With the Zman

Now HERE’S a REAL Present For All Our Fans!…

There’s no time like the present to enjoy the moment! Just jump on this JR WEEKLY SPECIAL and you will SAVE $10 BUCKS OFF ALL BUNDLES of RIATA DOMINICAN! Do the math… that’s no more than $1.60 a stick!

This is a no-brainer… get yours NOW!

Offer Valid thru midnight ET, Wednesday, August 17, 2011

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Hello, My Name is Tommy & I am a Tobacco Nerd

Monday, August 8th, 2011

Yes my premium leaf loving pals, just like every one of you, I buy my cigars from JR. For some reason, people are under the impression that I get hordes of stogies for free, but I am indeed a longtime customer, just like the rest of you guys.

Picture 19Now, much like the rest of you, I love shopping for cigars. While the women of our species can spend skads of hours roaming through malls and shopping in one clothes store after another, (insisting that they can’t find a thing to buy), we cigar lovers will have little problem finding a multitude of goodies to purchase in no time at all. Put me in a big room full of premium-aged sticks – I’ll peruse through the shelves pinching and sniffing along the way – and be assured I’ll hit the register with an eclectic selection of long-filler goodness, from several countries that hover around the equator.

I happen to be fortunate that I live within half an hour from the JR Cigars in Whippany, NJ, and have made it my home away from home since it opened it’s doors in the late 90’s. Like all JR Cigar stores, the place is truly the mecca of aged premium leaf, with thousands upon thousands of square feet of leafy goodness to lose yourself in. While I have visited the store hundreds of times, every single time I walk through those doors I get all jacked up like the proverbial kid in the candy shop – only the treats at JR are a hell of lot sweeter if you ask me.

Picture 5The rush one gets from going through various brands of cigars is such a high, and completely unexplainable to those who don’t smoke – especially the wife. (Let’s take for instance, a few of my present faves, the Gurkha Colorado, Bolivar Cofradia, La Gloria Cubana Serie N, Frank Llaneza 1961, and the luscious Belinda Black) They’ll never in all their lives understand what floats our boat and there’s no sense in even trying. And we all know how dangerous it can be to enter a cigar shop with too much cash or a plastic card with room to spend. It’s like when they tell you not to go to the grocery store when you’re hungry. And I don’t know about you, but I am ALWAYS hungry for a good smoke.

Picture 20Then there’s shopping on JR’s relaunched website, which is probably an even worse addiction as you don’t even have to move your fat and lazy culo from your chair, as a plethora of brands and sizes are right there before your finger tips. Just surf and click and the man in brown shows up at your door…and THAT is a major-league high all unto its own! When I order my stoags online, I’m like a puppy waiting for its master to show up, racing to the window every time I hear a car go by the house, and doing everything I can not to pee on the carpet. (Mr. Pavlov would truly have a friggin field day with me.)  And when that big brown truck finally pulls into the driveway, you’d better not be in my path as I make a beeline to the door while practically tearing the box from the delivery guy’s hands. And as you well know, tearing open that box is like a kid on Christmas morning who KNOWS he was a good boy and that Santa brought him exactly what he asked for.

Okay, admittedly I have no life and I should seek professional help, but I have a strong suspicion that you are every bit as bad as a tobacco nerd as I am – or as Lew would refer to us as “cigar weenies.” We are lovers of the leaf my people and there’s no denying this love that cannot be explained. So until next week, I bid you long ashes. Smoke ‘em cuz ya got ‘em. Yes, My name is Tommy & I am indeed a Tobacco Nerd.

HOLY SMOKES… Don’t Miss Out on This Special!…

Grab some popcorn, click on the video box below, and check out the J·R Weekly Special!

te_amo_ny_logoJR is giving us Tobacco Nerds one last chance to get our hands on the handmade gems of Te-Amo New York before they leave the warehouse forever.  And get this…these tasty beauties are going for ONLY A BUCK A CIGAR! That’s right – they’re letting every bundle go out the door for just $24.95. There are limited quantities available SO ACT NOW!

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