Arresting Developments in New Jersey

Man_smoking_a_cigarWe’ve all been told from a very early age that breaking the law can get you in trouble. Get caught stealing from a store and you will be arrested. Punch someone in the face in the street and you will be put away. Sell pot near a school and you’ll be fitted for a nice new pair of handcuffs. Handing a note to a bank teller while wearing a rubber mask will sound the alarm for sure. Bring a machine gun onto the bus and people will rat on you. Hurl a brick at a policeman and you will be severely punished. Walk into church playing hackey sack in the nude and just see what happens. (Damn, the last time I tried that, Sister Mary Margaret reached out and confiscated the wrong ball.)

monopoly-go-to-jail-cardBut guess what my fine brothers of the grand leafiness… Smoke a cigar in Denville, New Jersey and yes, you will be imprisoned.

WTF you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?

Like so many other small town USA’s, Denville, NJ has adopted strict smoking laws in outdoor areas – you know outdoors – where are there billions of square feet of open air for smoke to dissipate, including hundreds of miles straight up. You know, where garbage trucks, busses, and cars emit carbon dioxide and pump other toxic waste into the air we breathe by the mega-gallon. Get caught smoking on public side walks, parks, play grounds, parking lots, yada, yada yada, and first time offenders will receive a fine of a $100 or up to two days of community service. Now… second-time offenders could face a $250 fine or five days of picking up garbage along side county inmates in their flaming orange jumpsuits. But get caught a third time? You ready for this one, people? The new ordinance passed in a 7-0 town council meeting states that a third time smoking offense in public can garner you ten days of community do-gooderness, and for real – I’m not kidding here… A trip to the slammer! That’s right, you will be arrested, place in cuffs, put into a squad car, taken downtown, get booked and thrown into jail… for smoking.

StalinHellooooooooo… people of Denville… Stalin is calling and he wants his hammer and sickle back.

What I find terribly disconcerting is that a town council in local suburbia has wielded the power of incarcerating a person for an act that is and always has been legal. I repeat, it is not an illegal act to enjoy a cigar in public, yet this group of self-righteous demi-gods has deemed it a crime who’s punishment is the same as the acts I stated in the first paragraph. (And if you ask me, it was that damned nun who was totally out of line. Hey, I was emotionally scared and it’s hard to let this one go.)

F4E4095A-ED0D-412B-8B552258FBD33F08I’m at a loss here and I’m sure it is the same for you too, that the politico climate in this country is producing such outrageous acts of socialist and communist extremism. I know I sound like a broken record, but damn people, this isn’t really about smoking… it is about the stripping away of our freedoms in a country where men laid down their lives for the pursuit of this freedom. I just spent a week in Williamsburg, Virginia and learned a great deal about the people who fought tyranny and repressive laws in order to enjoy the fruits of life. Patrick Henry had the stones to stand up and say, “Give me liberty or give me death,” and the guy meant it, no questions asked. Now, while I won’t stand and say, “Give me cigars or give me death,” I will continue to make a public stink about these draconian laws instituted by incredibly small minds.

Patrick HenryA couple of years ago it started with the town of Belmont, California, who deemed it illegal to smoke in public. One of the councilmen, a local-yocal, small time, business goon actually said something to the effect of, “Can you imagine the lives that could be saved with this law?” I just completely lost it when I read his comments. YOU?… You want to save ME from MYSELF? Holy tobacco beetles, Batman, the world has tipped on its axis and the shit is running downstream at an alarming rate.

So what’s the answer? I say total raging anarchy, tea party times ten. We have to make noise and we have to get ugly. Unfortunately, it will probably take a group of us dumb-asses to go to alert the media, visit Denville three days in a row, stoke up our stogies and get tossed into the can. Although I’m not keen on having a record, it does seem like something that would get noticed, don’t you think? Say, who’s with me? Who are the men and who are the mice in this bunch?! To the parapets men, we have not yet begun to fight! (yeah, so I borrowed that one… it’s not like the dude is going to sue me.)

Okay, I know I’m babbling on, here, but this is serious, because as always, the logical question to ask is… WHAT’S NEXT? What will they tax next? What will they take away next? A lot of people read this blog and a lot of us can make some noise. We ARE sick and tired of this and we’re NOT going to take it anymore? Right comrades? Oops, socialist slip.

Til Next Time, My Brothers,

Tommy Z.

JR Cigars Blog With the Zman

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