Bitz n’ Piecez

Swine Flu. Great, just f@#king great.

And then there’s Maude… wait, check that…

95 degrees here in North Jersey this weekend as I sweltered like a roast Polack at my son’s travel baseball game. New Jersey is like an alien world – 41 and sleet last week and yesterday I slathered on the Coppertone like the fair skinned doofus I am. Both Saturday and Sunday nights were cool and perhaps the nicest evenings I remember in the past year. And of course that gave me the perfect opportunity to crank up some wonderful seegars for the smoking. Saturday I cut the lawn for the first time in the season and puffed a terrific Camacho El Legend Ario – a dark and luscious, full flavored maduro. After dinner I set a lawn chair out front, got down with a good book, and enjoyed the hell out of a Montecristo Classic Churchill. That is one big-ass flavorful smoke. Sunday before the ball game I was loving my Cuigine natural robust from Arganese and at night it was the new Defiance by Xicar and that is one friggin awesome smoke – full flavored and perfectly rolled.

The NFL Draft was this past weekend and the New York Jets really did well by picking Mark “Dirty” Sanchez, who will no doubt become a nice NFL quarterback. My Giants picked up a wide receiver  to replace Plaxico leg shootin’ dumbass Buress, but you simply can’t replace a guy with his amazing talent. Sure he’s a mindless asshole, but I keep thinking about that catch in the corner of the endzone against New England and it hurts, I tell ya people, it hurts.

General Motors just fired over 20,000 workers and killed the Pontiac Brand. Good luck Obamarama, you crazy bastid.

Susan Boyle, the YouTube phenom who shocked everyone with her stunning performance on Britain’s Got Talent, announced today that she is indeed a man, baby. Susan, formerly known as Rocko Boyle, a former cock fighting manager from Brighton, was embarrassed by his girly voice so he started wearing wigs and ladies clothing to make up for the lack of masculinity. Now as a guy, he’s not that horrible, but as a women, she’s outright hideous. A good point many bring up is that if she were a beautiful woman, the judges and audience wouldn’t have made that big a deal about her. She would have been just another hot singer. But Susan is a ruddy faced old bat and for some reason people are seemingly stunned that ruddy faced old bats can sing well. We are one hell of a judgmental, p.o.s. bunch, aren’t we?

Jay Leno cancelled a taping of the tonight Show last week – have you seen this, have you heard about this, have you read about this? Apparently, Jay was soooo sick…

“How Sick was he?”

Jay was so sick that checked himself into the hospital early that morning, but his chin stayed on to record the show.

NHL playoffs…where anything can freakin’ happen… Yeah Baby.

If anyone is watching Donald Trump’s celebrity Apprentice, Melisa Rivers is an infantile horse faced jackass. The egos on that show are gargantuan and everyone of them should be forced to live in a measly 3,500 foot home and eat Hamburger Helper. It’s actually been pretty good tv, but it sure makes you hate the disgustingly privileged.


Wow, lot’s happening. Goodnight, Bea.

 Tommy Z.

JR Cigars Blog With the Zman

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